I have never understood the average female. I know I am a woman, but I am not that usual girl...catty. I don't do catty. In fact, i make a point to stay anti-catty at all times. I personally think it is one of the most hurtful ways to be to others.

In October of 2002, I met a woman that went to the church Wes and I used to attend. I had been in Boone for only a couple years and had not yet met any local friends. She and her husband were married two days after us in August 2002 and had found out that first week in October that they, like Wes and I, were expecting their first child. After the babies were born, it was nice to have someone else know what it was like to have a child within the first year of marriage. We went to lunch together, I babysat her baby a few times, we walked together for post-baby weightloss, and we got along great. I knew I had found the friend I was longing for.

Within 20 months, we both had our second children. We both were busy and had our hands full, so the lunches and get-togethers slowed down. Eventually, though, we worked together. I was so happy to have opportunity to see my best friend four days a week...3 at work, one at church. It had started out great, but after a year and a half or so, I met her catty side. I regularly looked the other way while she pumped clients for information so she could gossip about them later. I defended her to other employees and clients who said she was rude and abbrasive. I sadly stifled my hurt when she put me down or did not defend me to others' put-downs. When her husband had job-trouble and was moved to a new location with a pay-cut, I listened and supported her while she cried on the phone, I prayed for her and her family, and I brought her banana bread the next morning-sans nuts.

I think the moment I realized our friendship was done was in November of 2006. Wes had been at the Sheriff's office for 6 years and had served under two republican Sheriffs. *Disclaimer: I am not a republican or democrat...if we have ever discussed politics, you know that I do not believe in having political parties. I vote individually, based on which candidate I believe holds Biblical principles most closely.* The election in 2006 was a bit hairy. A lot of gossip and ill-will was passed around freely by the people of our county. Some of what we had heard, from people we had trusted, was that the democratic candidate for sheriff had stated that he was going to "clean house"...firing all of the officers that had served under the former sheriff. The night of the election was hard for us when we found out that the democratic candidate had won the election. We were seriously worried that Wes would no longer have a job, that we would have to move away from both of our families so he could work elsewhere, that we would have to sell the house we had bought only two years prior, that we were entering into the unknown. The next morning, I went to work upset about the election. When this "friend" of mine saw that I was upset, she asked what was going on. I told her I was worried about whether Wes would have a job here or not due to the election. Her only response was a sharply said, "Who the He!! cares! At least we have a Democrat in office!" With that, she stood up and walked away. No, it wasn't a joke. She acting like it angered her that I was upset. That is not friendship.

After I closed my business, I ran into clients who said that she was continuing to talk badly about me to them and others, but I have just let it go. My clients and those who really know me blow it off knowing the truth about me. She had told some people that I lied about why I closed my business, which was for my health. I guess the five surgeries I have had since this past July were just vacations. Wes and I both view my health issues that closed my business as being a blessing in disguise. Wes was promoted the month after I closed my business, making up almost the exact amount I had been bringing home. Six months of being home with Aiden helped me to see his struggles with concepts, auditory processing, speech, etc. Now, since I have been home, I am able to do therapy with him each day and bring him to a therapist twice a week for his Sensory Integration Dysfunction. We were blessed that those health issues brought me home and a real friend would rejoice with you in finding that blessing.

Yesterday Wes met with our former pastor. We have not attended our previous church for 8 months for many reasons. He asked Wes who had done something to make us not come to church and Wes told him that it was not just one person or just one issue, but many combined that were keeping Wes from growing spiritually, which was taking its toll on our family. He told the pastor that he had dealt with it for years, but that since some people were starting to treat me and the children badly, he could not continue to go there and allow it to happen. The pastor, at that point, asked Wes if it had to do with me and this woman. When Wes told me that, I did not know what to say. I have never, to any person but Wes, discussed my problems with her treatment of me. How would he have known that there was something wrong? According to what he had said to Wes, we believe that her ill gossip was not confined only to the place I used to work, but that she was also talking badly about me in the church. The bad part is that the pastor defended her. Never has anyone from that church ever confronted me, asking if what this woman had said was true. Nobody gave me the chance to give my side or defend myself. It really hurt me to hear this.

I spent most of last night in prayer. No, I didn't pray for her hair to turn green. I prayed that God would use this to teach me some of His truths. I prayed that He would be with her, because you know someone who sets out to hurt others cannot be truly filled with joy within. I prayed that God would send His Spirit to that church, reviving the believers and engaging those who do not believe. I prayed that those in the church who are good, beautiful people, like Casey and Wendy, would continue to grow there so that they can be amazing witnesses to others in the church. I prayed that I would not find women who are catty at our new church. I prayed that God would help me to forever fight any cattiness I may have within me that I am not aware of. I prayed that He would be glorified in all of this in some way.

I am sharing this with all of you because this is still a bit painful for me, and I ask that you help keep me strong through this in whatever you you can. I ask that you keep me in your prayers, that I will remain faithful and remain a good witness. I have forgiven her. I find no reason to harbor anger. I just ask that you pray that if and when I ever see her, that the Holy Spirit will guide my words to bless her. I ask that you pray for her, that God's joy will fill her and that her hurtful ways, her cattiness and gossip will cease.

Thank you all so very much, my beloved friends.